dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
