The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Randomize