They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
