I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize