12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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