Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize