It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
