somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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