Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
