We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I need water and some morals
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize