Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
