Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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