it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
