1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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