Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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