I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
