ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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