I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
