"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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