I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
