oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
