I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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