she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's official drugs can't kill me
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
