why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
