So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
