he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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