My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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