He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
