Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
