well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
