question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
