And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
