Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
