She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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