How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize