I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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