Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I intend to get homeless drunk
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
