Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
