oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
