I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
