You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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