so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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