She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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