Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
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just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
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You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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