i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
