Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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