yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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