I will die if light touches me.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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