Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I need help removing her.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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