can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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