hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
no you cant smoke seaweed
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
