How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize