Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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