We won't sleep together?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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