Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
