No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
