I think im going to throw up on grandma
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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