I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
