U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
