you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
