I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
