Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
