At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My butt remains clenched, sir.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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