yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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