watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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