So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
