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• (714): View more from California

  dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.

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• (805): View more from California

  Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?

  (805): View more from California

  and why are they spooning a flamingo?

  (714): View more from California

  they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer

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• (631): View more from New York

  I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts

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• (213): View more from California

  hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!

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• (518): View more from New York

  Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.

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