Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
