I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
