I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize