I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
